MARIA:          Here it is.

TEACHER:    Correct.  Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS:          Maria.

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TEACHER:    John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the

floor?

JOHN:           You told me to do it without using tables.

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TEACHER:   Glenn, how do you spell  'crocodile?'

GLENN:       K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER:   No, that's wrong

GLENN:        Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.    (I

Love this child)

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TEACHER:    Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD:       H I J K L M N O

TEACHER:     What are you talking about?

DONALD:       Yesterday you said it's H to O.

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TEACHER:    Winnie, name one important thing we have today

that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE:        Me!

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TEACHER:    Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN:           Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

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TEACHER:      Millie, give me a sentence starting with   I.  '

MILLIE:            I is.. TEACHER:      No, Millie..... Always say, 'I

am.'

MILLIE:           All right...   'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

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TEACHER:     George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry

tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS:            Because George still had the axe in his hand....

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TEACHER:     Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say  prayers before

eating?

SIMON:          No sir, I don't have to, my Mum is a good cook.

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TEACHER:     Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as

your brother's... Did you copy his?

CLYDE:         No, sir... It's the same dog.     (I want to adopt this

kid!!!)

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TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when

people are no longer interested?

HAROLD:      A teacher